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THROWING THE BOOK AT 'EM:
If You're Going to Follow One Biblical Rule,
You'd Better Follow All of Them
By Jay Holavarri
I'm getting tired of this, and I bet you are too. Because I think that, like me,
you've been observing the polarizing debate between the conservative Christians
and the supporters of homosexual rights.
The debate will never be settled by those two groups, since the outspoken
"Christians" (a misnomer if there ever was one) won't tolerate homosexuals who,
they believe, are perverts bent on plunging into the Lake of Fire and dragging the
rest of America with them. The gay community, with understandable irony, can't
tolerate all this intolerance.
The result is that the position held by each side remains as immutable as granite,
leaving free-thinking heterosexuals like me right in the middle between the Word of
Almighty God and the precepts of Gay Pride Day.
That's why I thought it would be useful if a heterosexual, non-atheist Bible reader
such as myself offered a few points for readers to consider the next time they're
confronted by a gay-bashing, Christian commentary.
First, where does it say in the Bible that homosexuality is a sin? Several places,
one of which is powerful enough to make any God-fearing gay man shudder: "If a man
has intercourse with a man as with a woman, both commit an abomination. They must be
put to death." -- Leviticus 20:33.
Another verse that sounds aimed at transvestites and cowgirls reads thusly: "No woman
may wear an article of man's clothing, nor may a man put on a woman's dress, for those
who do are abominable to the Lord your God." -- Deuteronomy 22:4.
Both these verses -- and all of the related ones in later Biblical books, including the
New Testament -- are taken from the laws God handed to Moses.
So, according to the Word of God, if you're gay, you're an abomination and should be killed.
But wait a minute, all you heterosexuals. Don't feel too smug. Because God also handed down a
bunch of less popular laws that are also supposed to be followed. After all, I doubt the Lord
wanted his followers to pick and choose among only those laws that were convenient for them,
and ignore all the others.
Here, then, are seven not-so-deadly and much lesser-known sins that most of us are committing
all the time:
1. SORRY GIRLS -- "When a woman has her discharge of blood, her impurity will last for seven
days; anyone who touches her will be unclean until evening." -- Leviticus 15:19.
2. IT MIGHT FALL OFF -- "When anyone has a discharge from his private parts, the discharge is
ritually unclean. All bedding on which anyone with such a discharge lies will be ritually unclean,
and everything on which he sits will be unclean. Every earthenware bowl touched by the person must
be broken." -- Leviticus 15:12.
3. THE MARINES ARE IN TROUBLE -- "You are not to cut off the hair from your temples." --
4. SINEAD O'CONNOR, LOOK OUT -- "You must not ... tattoo yourselves. I am the Lord." --
5. CALLING ALL CAMPERS -- "You must have a sign outside the camp showing where you can withdraw
to relieve yourself. As part of the equipment, you are to have trowel, and when you squat outside,
you are to scrape a hole with it, then turn and cover your excrement." -- Deuteronomy 23:12-13.
6. THE JOHN BOBBITT RULE -- "No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut
off may become a member of the assembly of the Lord." -- Deuteronomy 23:1.
7. TELL THIS TO MASTERCARD -- "You are not to extract interest on anything you lend to your fellow
countryman." -- Deuteronomy 23:19.
For some reason, there isn't nearly so much squawking about any of these laws of God. Why not?
They're part of the same teaching that right-wing Christians use to blast homosexuals.
True Christians would -- and should -- tell you that Jesus Christ changed all of that when he died
for our sins on the cross. Men no longer have to sacrifice two turtledoves to the Lord and practice
special bathing rites every time they touch their girlfriends who are having their period.
Yet because it suits their won ignorance, some Christians will pick that anti-homosexual law out of
the pages and pages of other laws that they've long since stopped abiding by and apply it to others.
And that's ridiculous.
It's also a sad and horrible irony that the one Biblical figure who gets the least airplay by
conservative Christians is Christ himself. No doubt this is because much of Christ's teachings
revolved around themes of love, charity, and forgiveness -- qualities that don't exactly embody the
philosophy of loudmouth Christians like Pat Buchanan.
So because you'll probably never hear this from a Christian on talk radio or in the newspaper, here's
one of the teachings of Christ that all Christians -- and those they persecute -- should remember.
You've heard it before, I'm sure. But it's worth hearing again.
It's from the Gospel of John, 8:1-11, when Jesus was teaching in the temple. He was asked, "'Teacher,
this woman was caught in the very act of adultery. In the law Moses has laid down, such women are to be
stoned. What do you say about it?' ... Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. When they
continued to press their question, he sat up straight and said, 'Let whichever of you is free from sin cast
the first stone at her.'"
Alas, conservative Christians are far too busy hurling rocks to reflect on the true teachings of Christ.
[Jay Holavarri is a senior studying mechanical engineering at Cal Poly. This article originally appeared in
the Mustang Daily, California Poly Campus, in San Luis Obispo.]