How To Talk With a Partner About Smart Sex

Sex is too serious a matter to be left entirely to your genitals. The consequences can be quite serious, unless you think about your goals and priorities; what your're willing to do, and not willing to do.

But lots of people aren't doing what they know they should because they are uncomfortable talking about their decisions. They're too embarrassed to bring up the subject; they fear rejection; or they just aren't sure how to say what they want to say. It's a lot easier to have sex than to talk about it, but talking and planning ahead can make sex much better.

Remember, you should only have sex when you want to; only with those you want to be sexual with, and only in ways that are enjoyable and as safe as possible.

These mulaw (.au) audio files give examples of how you might want to approach the subject of safer sex. These examples can help you get used to how it sounds, especially if you're uncomfortable talking about it.

How do you talk about safer sex with your partner? Come on over to the newest Safer Sex Forum and tell us about it.

Introducing the subject

Ask a question

Reassure your partner

Straightforward approaches

If you have no supplies at hand

If you haven't talked about it yet

If your partner objects

Your partner might object to having safer sex; here's what you might want to say in response.
Taken from the the audiotape How To Talk With a Partner About Smart Sex by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. and Lonnie Barbach, Ph.D. Available through focus international (Thu Apr 20 02:02:27 1995)