Almost always, after many years of struggle, I feel that God (the
Transcendant One who is beyond comprehension) does love me.  I no longer have
a fear of dying (although I'm sure if I *were* dying there would be some
fear).  God is in me.  Yes, I am called to follow a path closer to His (or
Her's?) will.  This can only lead to greater peace, which does not
necessarily equate with happiness.  A Catholic priest friend has written a
book "Compassionate Energies Dancing the Cosmic Dance" that he hopes to have
published after some modifications to placate his Jesuit hierarchy.  He
discusses a woman pointing out the moon to a man.  All the man can see,
however, is her finger.  He reports to his friends how beautiful her finger
was, the analogy being her finger as the church, with the moon being God.  We
can get way to caught up in the "beauty" of church buildings and doctrines.
These can serve as aids in leading us to God, but for many, they are the
ends in themselves.