october 2000 · v3.0
SM: Safe Magic for Gay Men
by Mark Bond-Webster
Northampton, MA 01060
FuckingA high-risk activity. There is no way around it: whether you
are a top or a bottom, condoms must be worn every time. HIV can pass
across an ass-lining even if it is intact. The risk is even greater in
SM scenes where dildos, butt-plugs, or fisting may have torn the
lining. As a general rule: if you are going to fuck, do so before heavy
ass play; if you fuck afterwards, be extremely careful.
Carries a small risk because it may tear the ass-
lining and the skin on the fist. To make it completely safe, wear a
glove, use lots of water-based lube, and proceed slowly to allow your
partner time to relax. Full length gloves (those which extend all the
way up the arm) are best, particularly for deep-fisting. Be sure to
trim and file your nails so that you don't cut the glove or your
Do not share gloves: use a fresh one for each person.
Carries no risk of HIV transmission unless you have a cut on
your finger. If you do have a cut, wear a band-aid and a glove or
finger cot. As with fisting, trim and file your nails to minimize the
risk of cutting your partner. Be aware that if you finger someone's ass
during heavy play, you may get traces of their blood on your fingers:
be very careful not to transfer this to anyone else involved in the
scene. Either wash your hands thoroughly between partners or wear cots
every time and change them when necessary.
Although douching before ass play is hygienic,
remember that it will wash away mucous from the ass-lining and so leave
you more vulnerable to infection. Use only fresh water in a douche or
enema. Never mix in drugs or alcohol.
Caution: Douching is not a remedy for unsafe sex: you will wash
cum, blood, or shit further into the intestine rather than washing it
Neither piss nor shit contain enough HIV to present a
significant risk of transmission.
There are two different views on sucking. European and
Canadian authorities agree that oral sex presents little risk as long
as you don't have open cuts or sores in your mouth. To make it safer
they suggest that you don't swallow cum or brush/floss your teeth for
two hours before or after sex. American authorities are more
restrictive: they argue that a condom must be worn from start to
finish, whenever you go down on him.
The choice is yours. You must decide on your own level of safety.
And you must establish your limits with your partner(s) before having
Rimming Oral-anal contact presents minimal risk for HIV, but a high
risk for the transmission of hepatitis and parasitic diseases. For
complete safety, use a dental dam.
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